This is sooooo gay.

Wah lao. Chatterbox threatened me:


Write on me or die!

OK. It obviously needs some spamming.

Yay. Finally the oldest school in the universe is opening up her hall to the students for try-out of the new aircon. No doubt the school collects a lot of money and hordes them up so it can don't move an inch if some joker wants to sink the school with a bomb.

Hell. I don't doubt if the principal has the money to tear down the entire school and rebuild a new one. Including spanking new big-hall. And bigger toilets.

I'm sure most of us are aware of Anderson's hall. Big and spacious with huge heavy wooden doors that make visitors gasp --- C4 included for some reasons that I cannot phantom. I thought we always have the ultimate hall, then Yishun JC comes along and fit 32 condiitons into the small hall. 4 backstage.

Farking hell. Anderson only had what? 16? or 20. But yj has half the size of Anderson's hall and yet want twice the cooling capacity. Don't wear a hat which size is too big for you, I always thought. OK. So you've decided to put the compressors behind the toilets so some arse-itchy bloke can shove a durian through than we can free liu-lian fragrance. Common sense lah. At least put the 5 tonne shit at the back of the hall lah.

Oh. I fogot. It's haunted behind, right?

What happens if the parents wig hair got blown off while he's taking a leisurely stroll past the gym to look for the hot J1 chicks? OMFG. The principal'll have a negligence suit against her school. Then hor, will have to spend the remaining funds on settling the wighair-blown-off case.

Then hor, we can't have new doors to replace the old creaky ones when they lao-hong (leak air) when they on the aircon to chill the place cos all the air will be coming out from the shutters big enough to shove 20 Harry-Potter books through.

Then hor, we have to have another one of those fun(d)-raising thingys that people enjoy-but-the-money-never-seems-to-go-back to-the-school kind. Somehow, I think all the supposed numbers might have been divided into a tenth-fold when they announce the results of the profits. Then hor, they'll make us all guilty like shit cos we've been busy shagging that hot J1 chicks in the gym toilet we haven't tried our best to "help the needy".

I suspect they always use the trick.

RAISE FUND FOR THE NEEDY STUDENTS

These people are really not needy. Evidence? Got mp3 player. Got handphone. Hell. They even go all out for those sticker-like photos some call Neo-Prints.


Neoprints. Not Neo.

Some jokers are going school to take the geepee test tmr merely to hand in another blank paper. And of course, enjoy the a few whiffs of the used air in the small hall.

The Chairman has officially stepped down.


The former glorious post of the Ring Master



Down he goes. Like a fly.

Meanwhile, the Ring Master's assistant, has seemingly taken over to systematically tear down everything like a tornado.

Meet Kzk's new friend, Rhonda. Ah Lian doesn't seem to like Rhonda very much, though.


Kzk's eight-legged girlfriend.

I hate Sundays. Use a search tool. Run through the past post. Countless numbers of I HATE SUNDAYS, I'm telling you.

I'm telling.

Damn. Get the feeling when you've been trying to cram and cram, then suddenly, don't feel like going on anymore. Like permanently. Stuck in neutral gear. Then you future flash pass your freaking eyes like some freak movie --- you being a dumpster, your parents screaming at you millions of I-TOLD-YOU-SOs.

Argh. You call this stress? I call this insanity.

Only short of one month and a day more to finishing the last paper.

16 more days. Die also must die without guilt ah. Bye.

You'll know it when Idol fever breaks the record of speed of sound. Pardon the pun. From a video I received over the mail some weeks back.


"Pweeet! Hold it right there!"


"Visitor's pass please!"


"Everyone needs a pass! Even my handsome men!"


Suddenly, everyone wants to be a star


Brought to you by Malaysian Idol.

Ta ma de chao cheebai. Bicyles got stolen. First time ever someone wants to take our bikes. Worse still, we live in probably the most ulu area in the block, also the cheebai lan cheow wants to take. I bet it's the foreign worker-sweeper I saw a few days back. To think I replied his lan-cheow GOOD MORNING when he walked by me along the corrider.

I thought Bro was joking when he asked me before he left the house for school this morning:

"Koko, where did you put the bicycles?"

*tio stunt What?

"No bike outside."


Before

I couldn't believe it till I saw it for myself. Outside was empty except for the rack of shoes. Like someone borrowed the bikes.


After

The stinking neighbour was going : "WAH!!!! BICYCLE DISAPPEAR AH!" so loudly as if he found the 4th missing Newton's Law.

Cheebai lah. Add together Bro's bike and mine amount to $600 lor. All our pocket money sommore. TIU nei ah ma chao hai.

Wish list for today.

1. Theives who stole our bikes will have their balls pierced when some mysterious splinters in the seat pop out while they're getting away with OUR bikes.
   
   
2. Both bikes all fall apart just before they try to sell the bikes away.
   
   
3. The little bits of rust on my front wheel's spokes go into their blood when they try anything farnie.
   
   
4. Curse the bikes will haunt them till their deaths when they die of certain unexplained causes in another certain ulu jungle in some corner of a deep end of a large secluded park.
   
   
5. Their balls get eaten by hungry meat-eating squirrels before they pass out in sheer agony.
   
   
6. A hammer will pierce through their head because it mysteriously flew towards them when they went back home.
   
   
7. Some other foreign workers will fuck their mother-cheebai asses till it explodes and bleed like a fountain.

Thank you and have a nice day, you tiu lan narbeh cheebai.

I came across this post. And I rather like the way Ms Sandra bit the poor young man's head off. Kudos, miss!

I'll be right back in about one and half a month. To really study. It's now or never alidi. Don't want to imagine me going back to collect nothing short of a BBC-cert.

Please don't miss me. And wish me luck. =)

Ever had one of those time when a simple "Hello" turns out to a a real flaming war? Here, I decided to let the flam burn itself. Ouch.

Featuring Lian, Su and your's truely

Lian – ThE bLuEsT sKy is InFiNiTeLy HigH aNd CrYsTal CleAr... =>
Su -- love is only a dirty trick played on us to have continuation of species
Me -- Shawn


[21:46:24] Lian says:
wah!! first time see u online

[21:46:25] Lian says:
lol

[21:46:42] Shawn says:
==

[21:46:49] Shawn says:
nice hor?

[21:46:53] Shawn says:
see my name down there

[21:47:09] Lian says:
down where?

[21:47:18] Lian says:
lol

[21:47:21] Lian says:
ic ic

[21:47:29] Lian says:
h m m...

[21:47:50] Lian says:
so ur point is?

[21:47:59] Lian says:
haha

[21:48:35] Shawn says:
okaaai

[21:49:09] Lian says:
haha... have u agreed my invitation to u in friendster as friend?

[21:49:21] Shawn says:
din't check

[21:49:26] Shawn says:
one sec

[21:49:44] Lian says:
...Never check... So nice of you

[21:50:01] Shawn says:
pardon me.

[21:50:19] Lian says:
no i'm not going to pardon u...

[21:50:24] Lian says:
wat r u going to do

[21:51:03] Shawn says:
yeah yeah

[21:51:07] Shawn says:
accepted

[21:52:47] Lian says:
good good... wat u doing online??

[21:52:59] Shawn says:
updating myself

[21:53:03] Shawn says:
does it matter?

[21:53:13] Shawn says:
need new crap for my brain

[21:53:46] Lian says:
oki... I'm glad tat u know tat u r crappy haha

[21:53:52] Su joins conversation

[21:53:58] Shawn says:

THANKS AH
[21:54:03] Lian says:

wanna guess who is she?

[21:54:06] Lian says:
haha

[21:54:07] Su says:
huh?

[21:54:14] Su says:
shawn??

[21:54:31] Su says:
he is thanking who?

[21:54:37] Lian says:
i now disturbing him

[21:54:41] Su says:
haha

[21:54:59] Lian says:
he says he is busy updating himself now

[21:55:08] Lian says:
he need new craps for his brain

[21:55:30] Su says:
haha

[21:55:34] Su says:
aiya no use la

[21:56:12] Lian says:
look like he decided to type something but didn't in the end

[21:56:30] Su says:
ya lor

[21:56:32] Su says:
so sad

[21:56:41] Lian says:
btw remember the gal at the back of the magazine i bought today

[21:56:57] Su says:
...

[21:56:58] Lian says:
there's another pict of her

[21:56:59] Su says:
ya

[21:57:07] Lian says:
look at squishy

[21:57:14] Su says:
lol

[21:57:18] Su says:
is it her?

[21:57:24] Lian says:
yeah

[21:57:39] Shawn says:
my pretty friend

[21:57:47] Lian says:
huh??

[21:57:50] Lian says:
sure anot??

[21:57:57] Su says:
...

[21:58:05] Su says:
aiya wish only la

[21:58:15] Lian says:
lol can understand

[21:58:22] Lian says:
but don force it squishy

[21:59:30] Lian says:
so sianz.. he reply so slow

[21:59:41] Su says:
type like someone also?

[22:00:17] Lian says:
who??

[22:00:21] Lian says:
low tech??

[22:00:32] Su says:
ya

[22:00:59] Lian says:
...

[22:01:11] Lian says:
lol at least he knows how to operate a mp3 player

[22:01:19] Lian says:
& study computing

[22:01:20] Su says:
haha

I would like to interupt at this point in time, that I use a superior operationg system, compared to most girls --- these 2 especially --- who prefer the brainless git of an OS, the zen-like Windowz XP.

[22:03:20] Lian says:
yo wat u doing>

[22:03:26] Su says:
me?

[22:03:32] Su says:
taking pic from apple..

[22:03:36] Lian says:
wat time u left sch today??

[22:03:43] Su says:
after u left

[22:03:46] Lian says:
...

[22:03:52] Lian says:
shoulda ask me to wait

[22:03:58] Su says:
lol

[22:04:37] Lian says:
tat anthony anyhow write testi from

[22:04:46] Lian says:
i;m going demand a new one

[22:04:52] Su says:
he wrote for u??

[22:04:55] Su says:
ok i am going to ask

[22:05:05] Lian says:
no la

[22:05:08] Lian says:
he ask from me

[22:05:14] Lian says:
so i wrote for him lor

[22:05:31] Su says:
lol

[22:13:21] Lian says:
aiya today so quiet one

[22:13:32] Lian says:
yesterday busy like hell chatting

[22:13:34] Su says:
me busy taking pics...

[22:13:39] Lian says:
today so boring

[22:13:40] Lian says:
haha

[22:15:12] Su says:
lol

[22:15:22] Su says:
go disturb yue chuan lor

[22:15:39] Lian says:
don want la...

[22:22:50] Su says:
brb

I don't like my cough. I've been coughing alot recently. It's annoying, not cool and absolutely horrendous to hear. It's the type when your thorax feels itchy, and the only way to get rid if it, is either to slit my throat out, or spit like noone's business. The worst thing is, Grandma has this bitter powder-miracle worker drink, that she packed in a small glass bottle and gave it to me to treat my occasional cough.

*Shucks. No picture on bitter gouds.*

Tasted bitter goud? I'm sure most of us did. (You really should kiss your own ass if you don't know what a bitter goud is.) The miracle-powder is ten folds as bitter as a raw bittergoud. 5 times as bitter as the last bitter-weed soup I had 8 years ago to solve the same problem.

That weed made me really un-coughy, btw. Classic example of a miracle.

So I am supressing another itchy *cough* throat. Hoping against luck that I don't have to mix that damn miracle powder myself before I turn in for the weekend.



****



I love beautiful people. Everybody I talk to is beautiful. Have you talked to me? Are you beautiful? Of course, one shouldn't be too broad minded and preach shit like : "Oh yeah, it doesn't matter if you've got only one ball instead of two" or "no shit, the left-side ruined face doesn't bother me, scarface."

I'm sure everyone of us secretly wish to discriminate ugly people. But no, we shouldn't. Why? Cos my parents taught me so. Why? Cos Confucious told everyone to be kind of everyone else. Why? Cos Confucious couldn't climax when he masturbated.

OK. I added that last part in myself.

Once in a while, I like to look at beautiful people. (Again hinting that I examine orcs day-in-day-out.) One time while chatting with Chun Min on the sms that one of the good things about being a rocking single, is that I can choose to "ogle at both guys and pretty ladies" Aw, c'mon. I'm not gay. (Link to ST Podcast)

It's true, isn't it? Every guy tries discreetly to look at other guys to compare notes. Is that hairstyle good for me? God, he's a faggot. Ahem...your belt's all over the place......things like that. Same with girls. Tell me it's true that girls compare their boobs size to see who's got a smoother runway. Winner gets all the stares and saliva dripping wherever she steps past, cos the guys will be drooling. Of course, not excluding the small chance that she'll be sneezing half the time in her sexy XXS-cartigan cos mysteriously, somebody will be thinking about her boobs.

I've pasted pictures of beautiful people, like:
















Oh yeah. I love beautiful people. Do you?

A Good Hair Day for me, will be the one day when I have this kind of hair, including Lasik to get rid of my blind-as-a-bat-ness.


罗志祥's bad eye day. The puffy eye bags can hold the entire MacRitchie Reservoir


And guess what? I found one more jem that's simply fantsatically eye-candy. But the cutess of Makiyo does wear off after a while:


Considerably safe for school surfing. I plastered the original link here.

Farhana the tai-tai-gonna-be claims she drives. A Beng car. I also drive a car. A Red car.


Click for enlargement

Thanks to Kenny. Graduation Day nearer. Time to get something big. And bad. Maybe. Hmm ;-) I want to see this reaction on the teachers' face on that day.

The obsession with 1.5kg dildos. Kzk was going on and on and on about the 1.5kg torch that the countries that England used to rule will get a chance to touch. So it's here today.


The 1.5kg dildo torch

So the dildo torch is nearly half a metre. But Ruby George seemed pretty hyped up about the torch coming to school. Evidence like catching her run the outer most ring on the school track at 6.30pm in the evening is good enough as daylight to prove she's damn serious --- don't think this'll do much to up her stamina, ya know. And then poor Mr Fauzi has to go through the CCA forms instead of Ruby George doing the dirty work. He called me up on a Saturday to check on my CCA records, so I know better.

And then hor, the stupid Kzk got as hyped at George about the torch. Now, I must say he's got this shit about repeating critical quotes. (Hint. Peanuts.) So it was Ruby George's fault that she made an extra effort to emphasise on the weight of the baton.

After a brief prompt from yours truely that the baton resembles a dildo that Indian might want to steal to try to threaten other girls to fuck him with, all hell broke loose. Throughout the whole maths lecture, the bastard was going on and on of how the dildo should be used, and even formulated a whole string of possibilities of what'll happen if someone else other than the ever-so-dignified Ampit gets hold of the torch.

After all the pussy rants, you'll want to strangle him cos he made you miss all the concepts that Ms Lee was trying so hard to scream. And then you'll want to boot him onto the stage and make him dance the chicken dance with the 90cm dildo inside his arse.

"Oh yeah. Just go up and turn left."

That's one of Bear's favourite quotes, btw.

When the actual dildo torch came to school, he started disturbing WeeWee instead of going gaga over the much-awaited dildo. In fact, I thought he was gonna kick and shout and brawl like some small kid if he doesn't see the torch within 1m his radius.

But anyways, despite all the prep-shit talk by George about how grand the whole affair is, it's really nothing. Really. Not that I mind people taking some of my shit time to hold this kind of bake-your-arse in the sun funfair. It's what they used to transport the torch that's rather disturbing. ChiChi was telling us after the bake-your-arse-in-the-funfair thingy of how the Gahmen's using all the main form of transports to ship the bloody torch. Take a cab, ride the train, run with it, hop on the bus, on private cars...goes on and on. Then I thought of SM Goh will be running with the torch in the right hand, then after he passes on the baton to another Hairy, he'll say


"I think running is very good exercise for all. Healthy living, healthy minds, more productive Singaporeans"


*no offense to the SM*


OK. Then there's the part about Alfa Romeos, which some boys in school were swooning over. People like Buaya, maybe. I dont geddit. What's the commonwealth games have to do with the dildo torch? And how come some punks with gold-dyed long hair can vroom-vroom their cars into the school, escorting the poor torch-bearer then drive off with the torch in his car? Like WTF lor.





KNNCCB lah.

Singapore Motor's Association <-> Commonwealth <-> Alfa Romeos





I see no link. One of the last drivers tried to rev his oooh so exciting! engine. And I commented that a Proton Saga 1.3 litre with the good exhaust pipe can make the same sound. So much for good cars.

Fucking hell. I feel damn jaded lah. Wah piang eh. Kenna tricked today when the mother told me to swallow the 4 green pills that they call lan zao, or some kind of sea weed supplementary pills. Supposedly, the pills will be a good subsitute for caffine, which BTW I'm hopelessly dependent on. At least a cuppa every morning to ward off the headache.

OK. But anyway, by the end of the mock maths test which I had this afternoon from 3 to 6, I'm already half way to damnung every single person who cross my path to hell. I was thinking, hmm..not too bad, I'm ok through the day on those 4 sian dan (god-like) pills. I should be cool for the rest of the night.

Then hor, everything started going woozy when I opened my foolscape pad to do the AQ. I was going "WTF WTF WTF KNNCCB fuck that muthafucker pills" while my head swayed back and forth like the old scholars in the olden days of China.

So here I am after 2 hours of near-meaningless slogging over something which I had no fking idea what I had written. Modern physics got it's fair share of reading a minute ago. HA!

OK. I'm permanently pooped for the day. 5.30am tmr to go through the RJC maths paper again.

Women have mentrual cramps. I have cramps too! On the right brain. Can really feel like someone's tickling the bottom of my right brain with a string. In fact, many many strings. Spastic.


****


Haven't been blogging recently. We know alidi that the government is monitoring our blogs. Yes. Each and everyone who has a blog. Those poor girls from the particular junior college. Why? Is making you realise that you're merely jealous of your students that much of a sin? So what if a few girls say someone is a spinster bachelor? So what if the girls made it so public? Isn't it already true that the person is a spinster bachelor? Will it make any difference if more people know about it? Do you actually think that he'll be a bachelor forever if he remains the prick he is?

Actually, I think he's still a bacelor just so because people can't stand pricks.

But anyway, do you think I'll make it personal with you just because you said your's truely is a old-bachelor with no girlfriend for now? Even if you chide me for being a head-pimp of



I'll probably laugh it off. It's true waaaht. I'm head-pimp, and I've lots of pimps under my management. Shoud you be jealous, leave my company and set up your own company!



There you go. My precious three cents worth.