I was at Bugis Junction last Friday to buy a birthday gift for dear Xt. The crowd wasn't that bad, probably because the shopping bunch didn't include rowdy children, fucking punk adolescents. The slight drizzle could also have deterred loads of the filthy rich from shopping.

Walking into the shopping center from outside (I was coming in from Lavander), I saw a few kids with weird-looking passes hanging from their necks, sort of like those people from hard disk manufacturing factories wear. There were probably 7 or 8 of them hanging outside the shopping centre facing Bugis Street. Each of them had a clear plastic folder on hand, pressed tightly against their chests.

Bound to be donations, I thought, so I walked around the now-dispersing crowd. They probably saw me coming --- now that their meeting was done, time to disperse and spread the donating spirit.

One of them, a not-too-bad-looking girl in green stopped me in my path. Yes, she did a double-back and side-stepped right into my path.

Girl-in-green: "Um, excuse me."

me: "Hmm?"

Girl-in-green: "Can you donate to our charity? Its a legal foundation. We're hoping you'd donate $10 to help her," showing a poor African girl who looked like she didn't have her right eye, "You can check my identity," shoves her bus-pass into my face for a millionth of a second then letting it drop back to her chest.

me: "OK..."

Girl-in-green: "Um, yar so it'll be very helpful if you donate $10 to our foundation."

me: "Oh. I was thinking of donating maybe $2 when you approached me," I noticed the dildo-like container she had wedged under her left armpit.

Girl-in-green: "Um, its ok, any amount will be help. We just want to help the poor girl," flashes briefly the African girl again, "it doesn't matter if you donate $2, or $6, we just want to help her."

I took out my wallet, very much aware of the wads of $50 I had to exchange currency for Mother. I even purposely tilted the wallet so she wouldn't see the sea of blue and red.

me: "Err, here's $4."

Girl-in-green: "Thank you very much!" she bows and hurries off.

I stepped into the shopping centre, thinking how I had just bought an infant in Africa enough milk powder to make her full for a meal. Then it hit me like lightning.

Did the girl-in-green drop my $4 into her dildo? I flashed my memory, recalling I turned, saw her back, but no signs of my notes dropped into the container. Oh shit, that bitch, I cursed under my breathe. No use now to ask her again.

So I want to warn you, if you see this group of people posing to take donations, and they claim to be from a legitimate corporation, check their IDs carefully, scrutinise it --- don't care if it nearly outrages their modesty -- but you must give them the impression you had their names remembered for eternity. And last of all, donate if you feel like you can afford to throw a couple bucks away, but make sure it's dropped into the container.

I had the unfortunate incident here, now I dunno if she had used my money to buy a Chicken Foldover Meal, or dropped it --- into her own pocket. But I can curse her, yes I can.

So Girl-in-green, if you had really used the money for yourself, I curse your clit will rot till even the cockroaches and maggots shy away. I curse your boobs will drop to the floor like weights thrown down, I curse your face will be worse than Alien's, I curse you'll never get any more education, and have to turn to prostitution to earn money for a living (but who will want a rotten prostitute?), I curse the baby you claimed to help will haunt you in your dreams for not giving her the money --- for life --- if she died by anyways.

Damn you, bitch.

I think I had been spending too much time in the virtual world. Come to think of it, I have yet another excuse to glue my eyes to the computer screen (yay! isn't that wunnerful?) Its been raining! I tell you, yesterday was the best. When Mother stepped out of the house to go Lavander to take the coach back home to Seremban, the clouds started to come in about a couple of hours.

I was to go out buy a foam-pillow used for making the brother's little big-project, and also to return Mother's VCD to the rental shop, also to warn them not to call my mother on her roaming mobile yesterday. Then I slacked.

Yes, I plugged my PC into the internet and started jamming on SRO. Lost track of time da-di-da-da and it started raining. Woot! Actually I wanted to go buy the pillow right after the rain stopped, I though, but it never did! Blessing, ain't it?

BTW, I bought a [computer] keyboard for the brother. It's his birthday today, you see. And to stop his hankering for a new keyboard, I bought him one. The god-forsaken current one stuck to his computer is so fucked up, pressing a button on it takes a gazillion seconds to it to bounce back. How retarded. It being a Philips brand is ok, but I had to top up the muthafucker Indian old man in Sim Lim Square $50 for this set of "baaaari gooot" peripherals makes my blood boil now.

For the love of your-god, please don't trust salesmen, especially if they claim they're very gooot. I could well have gotten a Logitech keyboard at $19.00 at the next shop, a lot less shit in my face every time I myself use the brother's computer, and save myself $31.

Imagine the number of Happy Meals I can buy. And donated more money to charity, cos every Happy Meal purchased, 5 pathetic cents is donated to charity.

Scroll to the right of the page. See the queue? Even in virtual world, also must have law and order. Cannot jump queue to buy horses, ya'know!

Yes, I want to thank my auntie Wenne for naming this town after my pet name.

1.	Limboy
	n.(m) 1. A male in his teen to mid twenties. Long, limber figure. Flexible with toned muscles, little bulk and a firm belief in sexual contortion. The sexually curious, ridiculously bendy, homoerotic, hairfree boys commonly found in dance studios, nightclubs and bisexual orgies. 2. A bisexual with ridiculous flexibilities. Did you see that dancer? I'd like to shove his legs behind his head and tap that Limboy.

Raihana's We Ride is fucking gayly annoying. Another mother's 9 months worth of pregnancy play that song with me around, I'll fucking blow your balls off.

Shit. Auntie Godma Naeboo found my blog.

OK. So I hadn't felt like that in my entire (almost) 3 years since I stepped into Yishun JC's floorball club. Yesterday I had my physio. Sheik the Monster gave me my usual routine. Saved for the core-muscles exercises, everything else is pretty much mundane. But since I failed my first physio recovery phase with a 55.4% difference, my exercises got cut down, especially those that are contributing to the sudden jabs I feel around/underneath the right knee cap. Also, the core exercises are cut. Doing them at home now.

Piece of cake, you'd tell me, considering what shit I'd gone through in gyms and trainings. BUT Sheik increased the weights since 2 sessions ago, like for the leg presses, calf presses to 70lbs. Sial la, eh, 70lbs no joke after a 10min 6km/h walk and 10min cardio workout on the X-trainer.

Then there was the hip rotary exercise, 50lbs, from 37.5lbs previously. I have to have a log-like blue cushion touching the outer part of the thigh, then kick my leg sidewards. Effectively, its 50lbs my groin muscles have to shift outwards. If you think of it as doing both sides of the legs and me lying down somehow, I'd be swimming like a bloody retarded frog opening and closing the legs as if they're jaws of the shark.

OK, I got a bit bored with life. Seriously, lifting using only my injured leg is not enough, I did the same number of sets with the other leg --- well, partly cos I don't want my thighs/calves to have different sizes. Just before, I was looking into the mirror, admiring my calves's sexy shape, then I saw my right calf is more bulged towards the centre of the shin bone, while on the left calf, the muscles are bulging closer to the knee.

WHAT THE FUCK! I thought, CANNOT LIDDAT ONE!

Then I took my feet apart, and put them together again side by side (yar, like this will help...)

TMD!!!!!

*&#%#^$!!!!!! Really different sizes leh!

Its then I decided to start working on both legs, one more towards toning then muscle building.

Last time, I would make sure I'd stretch my groin after every single running exercise properly. In army, I didn't forget either, cos I remembered after my first floorball training, my groin hurts like fuck, making me walk around school from one lecture hall to the other machiam like got tua lampa. As much as I tried to hide it, people have eyes. They saw, they came, they laugh. I swear I'd never EVER not stretch.

*rolls eyes*

Looks like history came back to haunt me --- I didn't stretch these few weeks. I didn't think that little weights can matter. I guess complancy got me. The hip rotary exercise regime fucked my thighs. Waking up this morning, I couldn't move my legs. I was thinking : WTFWTFWTFWTFhappened?thiscannotbe!plsplsplsmove.

Lucky for me, they took a bit of coaxing (and lazing). Now as I type, I'm massaging my sore thighs (yah right). What a price to pay for not stretching.

Thinking I'll be better off killing an obvious bot who stole my kill, I whacked him. Perhaps its a sudden surge of anger, my deed made me a murderer. Along came a passer-by who whacked me cos my name is in fucking red.

Fucking bugger.



Oh well, at least he sent me back to Donwhang quicker than it takes the same fucking bugger to get killed. Guess what?! I saw him again in Donwhang!

hur hur hur...n00b.

...Every time I try to leave something keeps pulling me back (me back)
Telling me I need you in my life
Every time I try to go, something keeps telling me that (me that)
Everything gon be all right
Every time I try to leave something keeps pulling me back (me back)
Telling me I need you in my life
It was meant to be, you were meant for me
So that means we gotta make it work...

Recently, Chingy's song featuring Tyrese Pulling Me back has been in my mp3 for 3 continual recycle. Heard of it quite a long time ago when Auntie Naeboo introduced it, it was quite nice, and guess what? nothing has changed my opinion of this song!

Melayu gone wrong. Very wrong.

Cepat become "jepat". Bedoh become "betho".

Faintzz.

... that smashpOp is my favourite photographer.

LOVE ALL HIS PHOTOS!! If my wedding needs a photographer, I'd fly him in to make him my official photographer! His blog entries brightens up my day always.

I haven't been to my Yahoo! Mail recently, mainly cos its so &*%#^@#% slow the last time I logged it, it took about a million years before my brower told me connection got a time out.

=.="

That time, Yahoo! Mail beta was a long way to go. Yours truly is never the kind to be volunteered into any beta projects. (OK, except Gmail, but it was supplied together with Blogger mahI refused to use Yahoo! or it as a search engine after that, I think my browser forgot what Yahoo! is. I got nothing else better to do for the last hour, so I thought I'll let my Internet connection get fucked by Yahoo!. Much to my amazement, everything changed!

Behold! The Yahoo! Mail beta!



The option to learn the new layout is a must, because email users who were too familiar with the by-page format of checking the email, will be at a loss on the tabbed browsing of their new Yahoo! Mail. Instead of opening new mails in their individual tabs, there are tabs with your tab! This keeps things really tidy for junkies like me who open ALL their links on new tabs. I wouldn't want to see a third of my visible tabs with a "Y.." name.

Besides the tab within tab browsing, the new inbox allows for Outlook style management of mails. Now, I can click and drag a mail (or mails, by Ctrl + click/Shift + click) and shove them into folders created earlier! Much less troublesome compared to previously when one had to select multiple cute-looking boxes then select another option to move them to the designated folder. Much faster and less messy, especially useful for the click-and-drag generation.

RSS has been integrated into the sidebar as well, reducing the hassle for news/blog surfers to open multiple tabs (yet again), not to mention reducing eating the bandwidth on the website. SourceForge surfers rejoice!

Drop down menus are integrated smoothly into the interface, reducing fugly white boxes anywhere. Oh yes, talking about the interface, it has also been improved, no longer the extremely ugly, eye-burning white background.

There are minuses, of course. Speed of accessing the mails is still not as efficient as Gmail. Perhaps the tabbed-mail is not loaded into the browser cache, which is bad for volume-based ISP subscribers.

Overall a good experience, but not compelling enough for me to shift to Yahoo! Mail.

My brother told me to drink his share of the birdnest, because he says he doesn't really like them. I think its more because of he's too lazy to drink it, rushing to school very very very late today.

Nevermind...more for me!

Yes, cos SilkRoad is not online at this busy lunch hour.

I came to realise I neglected my personal online space a little because of games. Games. GAMES! Games are addictive ok, especially like Need For Speed. Not so much for Carbon, though, I had a had time reaching the 100% career completion because I thought all races in the territory need to be won for me to move on to the next town. Almost all the races need me to race again and again. 'SEMULA! SEMULA!!' keeps ringing in my head when I end up 2nd or 5th or last. Haha. Winning a race is not that simple cos you need the correct tier car to compete. It doesn't help when you don't get the most power engine tuned. I lagi stupid for one particular race that I had been trying for like 25 times. The notion of winning $10000 engulfed me not to think right.

In the end, my brother, who started out later than me by a day, finished the game before me by about 3 days. URGH!! I'll do a game review later when I print out some pictures.

For now, I'm like accompanied by a lot of games unfinished.

• SilkRoad Online (which cannot be finished)
• Grand Theft Auto Vice City
  

Come to think of it, both are fuckingamazingly long games. Will be having a field time in virtual world. OK, later!

Pardon my impoliteness, I think people who don't update their own blogs should be banned from setting up group blogs, then refute by saying they don't update cos of "personal reasons".

Hmgh! Got a bad case of runny nose this morning, and feeling cold all over. All because I left the fan running without covering myself with a blanket last night.

While I was cleaning the bird nest this morning, my nose was running all over the place. I could clean one whole piece in 2 hours, but instead spent 1.5 hours over a miserable half-piece. Dammit. And I got scolded for not blanketing. Grrr....

Doctor's visit today. I hope I can renew my absence certificate again the next time I see him, not just this. The leg has been recovering pretty well, though I can feel a couple of on-coming buckles of the knee cos the muscles aren't too accustomed to moving that fast yet. Occasionally, I even felt the knee locking my thighbone and shinbones when I stretch by straightening the legs. Apparently, this is perfectly normal for someone who has gone through Dr Michael Soon's ACL surgery procedure.

OK. Time for breakfast, bye.

Things happened last time. Yes, its always about last time.

Many years ago, I got rejected to start a relationship (with a female, duh). That time, I was literally a naive little boy. I asked, and I got no reply. Obviously this made me a little tense, and mad at the same time. How could she? Silence isn't an answer. She could have said; no, fuck off, bugger. I didn't know what the reply was going to to be, and if there will be one.

I assumed. I assumed for the worse. Shawn didn't know what to do. He doesn't have a love guru to teach him. What does this mean? What will that outcome have what impacts?

That point in time, we drifted apart suddenly. I felt I needed time to recuperate from this akwardly quiet situation. She was a good friend, one whom I'd known for a long time, I didn't want to loose this person as a friend.

Gradually, we rarely talk, only when meetups come along, as in the whole bastard-dised gang meeting, then we have the opportunity to even see each other. Even so, time has done its job. Shawn became immune to everybody. He somehow already has that heck-care attitude, maybe it's to shield him from baring his emotional weakness, maybe its a front for others not to see the chipped side of his heart. The fake front naturally made Shawn a good actor, so good infact, no one saw anything.

Years passed, more people came between us. I busied myself with tasks to keep my mind off her, until I met someone new. I guessed the pain of her wore off completely then. I didn't feel ashamed to talk to her directly anymore.

Recently, a common old friend of ours, A, began to edge closer to her. Initially, I was taken aback. I knew this was coming. I saw. But I never see this coming half a year later. A doesn't know of what happened then, see. In fact, I felt A was overly-smittened by her, he doesn't realize my subtle words of criticism while we were chatting online. He was too consumed by the victory he predicted will come, even requested for my wishing him all the best in this new endevour.

I didn't.

And I told him that I wouldn't.

The tears have dried.

However you must see that the shock can still come through any contact. I'm a friend of both. I don't want to cheer someone on, just so to spite her, and remind her of a past we shared. I would be siding him, alienating her if things turn for the worse. Its not fair to treat someone like that, like teasing the tits of a common whore who puts herself up for prostitution. Its akin to American Navy men who gang-bang an AIDS-less chinese woman who knows she will be shelved for life from marrying a proper husband who'll respect her for what she is. How weak and un-gentlemanly behaviour to push a female overboard.

But if I have a chance, I'll tell her now, its ok to forget about the past. Whatever happened will always be a life lesson, part and parcel of growing up. Its ok to plunge into something new, without know the outcome, without knowing if you'll hit the floor hard as if you tried to commit suicide, without strings attached that'll come back to haunt you one day.

You won't know your destiny till you try it. People don't want to see you withdraw into a shell the minute they touch you. This is the time, the time to present your best to the world, to shine, to show them you're not really a girl who's bullied.

I wish you happiness, and the best I have.