Booked out from my third week in BMTC2 on Temp-tation Island. It's weird how quickly I settled into that place. One of the reason might be because the view of from our section is fantastic. Everyday, I'm at the edge of the island. If not for the small lagoon that gahmen is building, I have the whole stretch of Strait of Singapore to myself.

The sea air is ok, though I'd rather think of the occasional rare sea breeze as the culprit for speading the cough virus everywhere. We used to be the only section with the least casualties from the deadly virus. But somehow, within the week, everyone's coughing already. Damn the the fuckers who cough like crazy and never cover the mouth. Damn that sergeant who brought in the cough. That evry day I saw one of the sergeants cough in the adjextment week, first thought that crossed my mind was "Fuck, we're doomed."

Recall C4's intimate relation with the cough virus he contacted, and never could really shake it off within the span of one month I met up with him.

Anyways, besides spreading the cough, the sea air's also the culprit for the layer of dirt on the window panes. This one I know best, ok! For everyday, I'd been cleaning the dirt with the aweful orange cloth after breakfast around 7am. And after our Combat Physical Trainings (CPTs) around 8.50am when there's 40% chance of a stand-by-area, the panes will be all sooty again.

Then everyone will go mad, especially Raj, our bunk I/C (meaning the in-charge for the cleaniness of the room).

"NARBEI!!!"

Thereafter, everyone will go into a frenzy, wiping high and low. Then the rush for EVERYONE OUT!!! starts 5 minutes before the commanders are supposed to arrive. Our section made it a point that Raj will do a final inspection after everyone goes out; looking out for things such as a cob-webs on the centre fan, which is oxy-moronically dust prone, I'll ask Gavin to swipe off dust with our fingers on the corridor windows, Kiwi stains that'll mysteriously reappear, locks that aren't secured....

The first tekaning session, one mistake cost us one pump. For subsequent mistakes, it's 1 X 10 pushups/mistake. Fortunately, our section usually doesn't contribute to more than 2 mistakes. But Section 1 will have some jokers who will either fidget in the file, or worse --- run back into the room to hang his rags.

Narbei...that last stunt Jason tried yesterday, and it cost us 20 pushups. Thanks, dude.

For yesterday's booking out standby-area, we had 11 mistakes. Simple maths says it's 110 pumps, with barely 10 minutes before we have to report at the red track downstairs where everyone is waiting.

20 pumps, 20 crunches, 20 pumps....

"I give you 5 minutes to fall in downstairs," said Sgt Ghany, "Move."

"MOVE, BITCH!!!"

"ELEVEN BEE!"

"EFF AA DEEE!"

"FULL WATTLE BOTTLE!"

"EVERYONE OUT!"

Despite the seemingly large time frame given, we're still late by 1min 18 seconds, which equals 78 pumps that we have to return Plt Sgt Say Han when we book in.



****



One small joke we share among ourselves, thanks to Sgt Ghany:

How do you spell "We Are" in short form?
"We'll", right?

Wrong. It's:

"Double U, EEE, er..blah blah L"

Technically:

"We 'blah blah' l"

Grabbed this off the email:


Left: Mr Angry Right: Miss Calm...oh wait. Is it the other way round?

"If you watch the above images from your seat in front of
the computer, Mr. Angry is on the left, and Mrs. Calm is on
the right.
Get up from your seat, and move back about eight feet!!
They switch places!! I believe this illusion was created
by Phillippe G. Schyns and Aude Oliva of the Univ. of
Glasgow . This proves that we may not be seeing what s
actually there, all the time!! I do not know how they
generated this fascinating image, and I believe no-one else
is able to generate anything similar in Photoshop. I know
it has something to do with "low-pass" and "high-pass"
filters, but the details?? "

Narbeh...Army already. Have to report at 12 plus. Why WHY WHY Thursday??! Why am I like the earliest batch?? I hope Andrew's (Mich's husband)in the same platoon as me.

She has it easy. Work like a lazy dork in some CPF office, have the thinking that her "man's serving the nation". Gab's going in today too. Hope to see that CJ bastard. HAHAHA!

Temporary hiatus for now. Check the links beside. Most of them are good blogs. Must see my haunts. Be careful of a picture of a penis staring at you when the Rockson's tab (not safe for office/school) finishes loading. =))

Go check them out, you'll like them. I know you will. ;-)

They still gave me a crapped Honda! OMG. It's like...FUCK YOU, YOU MINIONS! CANNOT GIVE ME A CAR WHICH BRAKE ISN"T SO FCKING SENSITIVE?? MAKE ME JERK THE INSTRUCTOR SOMETIMES LIKE AS ASSHAT IS PROBING HIS BACKSIDE!!

OK. Enough. But really lor! The brake is so bloody sensitive, everytime I tap on it, the whole car comes to a bloody stop. You're supposed to SLOW DOWN THE CAR, not STOP IT!

!!!!

Then hor, I floored the accelerator a bit too quickly on second gear, so when I shifted to 3rd the car was pushing 50 to 60KM/h already. This also when the instructor (Mr T) got slightly startled, and began to lecture me about the dangers of speeding. He went onnn and onnn and onnn. Narbei!

Initially, it was 'okay'. Then 'fine', then 'WHATEVER'. He's a gonner, permenantly went into a never-ending loop.

IF speed>45KM
THEN NAG

NAG
{
talk shit

else
talk shit

else if ()
talk shit
}

Pardon if you don't understand the algo. WAAAAAAHHHH.... After 10 minutes, I was ready to cry. Though my mother is infamous for her record nagging sessions, Mr T's bad. He's the baddest of them all.

Within that 100 min that I employed him with $67, he talked about

• an accident that happened in AMK. Some learner asshat knocked down a jaywalking pedestrain. He was speeding.
• the dangers of speeding.
• how the school doesn't care if I speed after I got my license.
• how the school is not willing to let their students speed while learning with them.
• comparing highway speeds between M'sia and S'pore.
• how he tells his own son dangers of speeding [like why should I care lor!]
  

Though it keeps the car cabin quiet-proof, nagging is IRRITATING!! Talk about the sun, the moon, the plant, Pluto! WHATEVER! Telling me over and over and over again after I checked my blindspots when I turn of why I shouldn't speed is not acceptable! Know lah, learner lah! Cannot go over certain kilometers per hour lah. You correct lah, I wrong lah.

Adui.

Come to think of it, I think I should have jerked the car on purpose a few more times, knock his head against the dashboard, leave him to die, then dump him in the nearest longkang (YCK seems to have a lot more longkangs than I knew of) get my stamp on the booklet, then drive home.

This is unbelievable: http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/medina.asp

Taken from Mr Kurt Low. Read properly the article, I promise it'll change your insight of paedophile forever.

[22:05:39] Nox: Sci or Arts... Kaoz says:
going in soon huh

[22:05:41] Nox: Sci or Arts... Kaoz says:
jia you!!

[22:05:42] Nox: Sci or Arts... Kaoz says:
hahah

[22:06:05] shawn says:
narbei..

[22:06:10] shawn says:
dnt let me see you

[22:06:13] shawn says:
you sure die

[22:06:19] shawn says:
tell me to jia you hor [??]!

[22:08:58] Nox: Sci or Arts... Kaoz says:
jia you!!


Can jia you in army one meh? Thought its either die or take it as an extended PE lesson?

Apparently, they're scrapping our 'Carlsberg' mass dance because they 'have no time to teach them [kids]'. Breaking a tradition that we strived so hard to keep! Argh!

Re-edit of an earlier post. Sorry if Farhana's feeling insulted or anything. =(

Better this time. Old man's Mr G, an old chinese man. He's very nice, brought me out on the streets after a few warm-ups on the circuit. And while in the circuit, I was taught the 'proper' way to steer a car.

Oh. Ok, I thought. Sorry, the non-power-assist steering caught up with me. Then, I had to yank the steering if I want to turn the corner without ramming into the banana tree. Now, all I had to do, is to nudge the steering to scare the living wits out of the asshat driving beside me.

The road was interesting. For the first time, I experience the so-called biting point. At first no sound, then the low rumbling and shaking when the cluth is released almost all the way though.

Sorry, I learnt to fly before I crawled.

While I was afraid I'll stall the engine all the time at the rate he's telling me to "LEAVE THE CLUTCH!! NEVERMIND!!", I learnt the a-garation speeds that the call won't stall at the lower gears. Quite cool that the engine didn't sputter and die in protest (thanks to my secretly depressing on the half-clutch, but don't tell anyone hor!).

I still think Mr G should have taught me in Mandarin, though, cos half the time, I wouldn't have caught what he was saying, if he hadn't repeated himself like 5 times in a row.

Some ah czar (read as char without the the 'H' sound) taught me for the first lesson. As usual, there was the run-though with stuffs such as bonnet, the boot, checkinf tire pressure, the specific instruments on the dash board, the speedometer, the trip-meter, the fuel gauge, the odour-meter. I had told him I'm through with driving, just not familiar with the different parkings.

Then he told me to start driving. At first, the old Honda Civic trotted like a horse. My stomach's juice felt like air, slowly floating up. The clutch felt out of place, with no leeway for relax tapping. The brake is horrible. Being too sensitive to the scrapping by my shoes. The gas was shit - damn unresponsive. In short, the pedals are wrong at the wrong places.

It's only later Mr J (let's call him that) told me the car (no.201) is ready to be scrapped. =.=" Sorry man, I learnt to sit on the driver's seat which vehicle might be 12 years old, but ready for another few dozen Seremban - Singapore round trips.

I looked around, the rate at which cars stop, stall, start is scary. White Civics can move slowly, and yet fucking stop in the middle of the road like their fathers own it. Mr J didn't help either. He didn't mention anything about the third gear, so I'm not allowed to travel faster than 10KM/h.

Other than jerking like a humping horse, the stupid car stalled only twice - considerable achievement considering

1) my (training) shoes are like one inch thick
2) I haven't drove in 2 months
3) the car is supposed to travel not faster than what 2nd gear allows
4) I'm chatting with him all the way while I'm driving
5) I cannot hear what Mr J is saying 40% of the time

Re-edit: KPO people doesn't NOT mean Farhana only. I think she meant to flame me or something. =( Just using a cut and paste mathod. You know lah, I'm too lazy to scroll though the thousands of smses I receive asking : "What's your result?"
======


It's most unfortunate that we have KPO inquisitive people around. You see For example:

Farhana said asked...

so how was it???

3/02/2006 08:31:52 PM

To satisfy that insatiable hunger for information, I got C,D,D for the core subjects, A2 for my engrish. Yesh, it are the least important subject for any bodies to cure care, and me got an A2 for my engrish.

On the result release day itself, I was asking around for some people's results. Most are quite good. AAB, ABB, ABC, ABD.... narbei...at least got an A for core subject. Then I asked their geepee result.

"Oh err..C6"

"C5"

"D7 lah! Die bitch Wah lao! Have to retain already lah!"

"Fuck off!"

Then I wondered again if blogging had helped me attain my sole distinction (in a bloody ordinary level subject). If so hor, I recommend everyone to blog, in proper queen's Engrish, not the laazz and hahax and shit.

There's a silver lining to every dark cloud. I hope my silver lining leads to Communication Studies in NTU. Please pray for me, thanks.

*press PANIC button*
1 hour 40 min left. Fustration, excitement, dunno-what-to-do-ness. Chee Hao was so nice last night. He prayed to 地公 for me. Though that sms he sent launched my panic status! OMfG! Appreciate it, even so. =)