Do you feel like this sometimes? When you have a mouth but cannot scream, when the world has to revolve around everybody else except you, when lag is beginning to get to you, when you feel just like pulling out your own limbs because they hinder you too much of your freedom.

Its stressful now, not because of work, but my personal life has been turned inside out. Sometimes it seems like my family is breaking up, and people are not making it any easier. Sometimes somebody does something and it'll feel like a piece of china getting new leased of life when someone fixes it up with Handiplast. My mother left for a far-away country, leaving me in-charge of the house. Thing is she might not come back for the long time, so its up to me and my brother to tackle the house. Not to forget the irritating father who can really do nothing good to help (alright alright..he did cook for the first time a full-meal just now to redeem himself a wee bit). And then sometimes I fight with my brother --- cos he's simply too childish at moments when you'd expect something smart from an 18 year old --- and then i'll be on my own for a while, fending financial handling, keeping everything in working order not only for yourself, but also for these people you're reluctant to care for.

Then something will happen, and it'll feel just like a sink hole getting unblocked, washing away the dirty water. (In some cases you have to scrub down the basin but that's another case.) Really sad to say this....never happened yet.

Bet you feel really cheated of your feelings eh. I really hope the feud will end soon, and everything go back to the old times when we didn't care so much for the money, and we derive simple life's pleasures from walks after dinner, watching tv together.... yada yada.

But I think I was raised to be just like him --- stubborn, childish --- it won't happen. Not in 10 years.

From Cowboy "He-Who-Is-Insane" Caleb

Calling all active and inactive Cowboy Barflies….

First launched in 2005 and then continued in 2006. …You (as long as you’re a Barfly) are hereby invited to the Cowboy Bar Halloween Virtual Insanity Party 2007!!!

Details
Date - Saturday 27 October
Time - 7pm till last man standing or the cops arrive.
Venue: (Some Barfly’s Jumbo Flat in Yishun)
Food: A BBQ grill provide protein

Entry Requirements
Entry Fee - SGD12 per person
BYOP - Bring your own Poison. No alcoholic drinks, no entrance.
Costume - Come dress up (as usual).

Add Notes:
Can I bring my partner - Yes, but he/she needs to pay SGD12 and bring poison.
Can I don’t wear costume - Smear some mascara and pretend you’re a zombie, asshat.
Can I don’t bring alcohol - Fuck you, no.
Can I also bring mixers in addition to alcohol - Bless you, yes.
How do I RSVP - email Natsu to RSVP (natsuumi AT gmail DUT com)

1st 60 lucky barflies who sign up will get a special door gift!!!

Sign up now - Payment details will be email to you from Natsu

Not! Don't worry, despite this post about possibly the best band in the world, I still love your music!

It hard to keep track of all the stupidest things people do around here. Like how my father knows shit about doing laundry (I have to re-hang the clothes after he's done).

There's this one idiot I saw on the train about a week back, after my physio, he kept on rapping to the door of the train. Yes, rapping. You know the nigger-kind who wave their hands like silly cows --- only this bozo is waving at the glass partition of the train door. I stuck my ear-phone furthur in for fear for hearing whatever he has to offer.

This guy from work is just about god's worse failure. Be advised to switch off your speakers if you do click on the link on the left.




I warned you.





SO ANYways, he totally fucked up his deadlines, about 80% of his work is done by the rest of us, technically that leaves 20% to himself, but even so, 90% of the remaining is copied directly from old work. Hallelujah if it works, "I know nothing" if it doesn't. There's really an excuse for every mistake that he makes, which makes it even more irritating cos he'll somehow manage to wiggle his way out. It doesn't help that the officer seems to take his side when I'm going to fully lash out whip right at his face --- for fear that such new PES E recruits cannot handle the extreme scolding, and commit suicide.

Whatever.

I agreed to downgrade my expectations for the army a little when I signed the form to be down-PES-ed, but this is getting abit too little for m liking.

I mean:

• 5.45am wake up
• 7am move out to camp
• 7.20am reach CCK, wait for shuttle bus
• 7.30am reach office
• 7.55am first parade
• 8.00am take out laptop
• 8.01am - 11.20am stare at the flickering laptop screen, thinking I have epilepsy
• 11.20am gather the cookhouse party
• 11.30am run to the cookhouse to beat the queue of trainees
• 11.45am find a good spot in the freakin oven to accomdate about 8 guys
• 12.10pm finish the last drink
• 12.11pm pass the drink cup to the last person, sabo him to bring the tall stack of cups to the wash basin
• 12.13pm walk back to office
• 12.30pm reach the office, check if the aircon has broken down yet
• 12.32pm walk around to disturb the guys, at the same time look for a temp camp spot until cool-down from the heat
• 1.05pm walk back to cubicle, unlock laptop, stare at flickering screen
• 1.06pm take a short nap
• 4.00pm wake up
• 4.01pm muck around
• 5.00pm last parade
• 5.10pm change out
• 5.15 - 5.40pm wait for the freakin shuttle, which timetable is on permanent hay-wire

There you go, boring life. If you're persuaded to join the army based purely on what's on TV, you need to either go re-watch Police And Thief 8954652677620316838 times, or have your brain scanned about 5 times for the radiation to rid of the genes labeled 'foolish'.

Sigh, another night burnt in the camp, another day less to all these shite.

Used to be so free in the morning, (heck, I could watch dawn come creeping in, and hear the first KTM trains along the track), now I don't care anymore, waking up just before someone comes into the office to draw the Signapura flags and draw keys.